No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
