is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How does it feel to date your dad?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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