You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
