I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
