I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
