So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
