i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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