He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
