I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
