it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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