I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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