oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
