OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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