yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
