i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
