Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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