i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
