I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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