Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
