Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
