She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
