Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
