He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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