Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sorry about my life...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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