I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
