I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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