Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
