That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
