You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
