My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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