You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
