1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
