And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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