He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
