the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
