I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
