so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
