You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
