Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
