I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
