The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
