I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
a search helicopter?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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