am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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