Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
