Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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