My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I forget how to act sober
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
