Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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