I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
