After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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