still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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