Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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