so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i will never coherently bang her
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
